Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Conspiracy Theories Old and New

Who made the salad?
Why so many anchovies?
I) Assassination of Julius Caesar. March 15 (Ides of March), 44 BC
Pretty well documented to be a plot by the Roman Senate.  Caesar was stabbed 23 times times by perhaps up to 60 individuals.  Brutus, Cassius and others implicated.  "I came, I saw, I bled to death on the Senate's cold marble floor."  This conspiracy started a civil war.  Will Shakespeare later purchases the stage and movie rights.  Highly unlikely for there to have been any direct CIA involvement, still a possible mafia connection though...?

"Hold my horse, Peanut!"
II) Lincoln assassination. April 14, 1865 (Good Friday)
There was a well-documented conspiracy, not only to kill Lincoln, but to decapitate the Union government  (see Manhunt: The 12 day Chase for Lincoln's Killer by James Swanson, 2007 www.amzn.com/0060518502).  Lincoln was killed with a single shot pistol to the back of the head by the actor John Wilkes Booth while watching the play Our American Cousin at Ford's Theater.  Secretary of State Seward was stabbed  by co-conspirator Lewis Powell and nearly killed in his bed.  There was a plot to kill Vice President Andrew Johnson in his hotel room which miscarried.  Peanut, a young black man whose only crime was to have held John Wilkes Booth's horse in the alley near Ford's theatre, was convicted as an accomplice and went to jail. The unfortunate Dr. Samuel Mudd of Maryland ("Your name is Mudd!") who mended Booth's broken leg was convicted and sent to Devil's island.   This conspiracy ended a civil war.

Let's not forget the amazing series of dissimilarities between the Lincoln and Kennedy assassinations.  Lincoln was a Republican, while JFK was a Democrat.  Lincoln wore a beard, while JFK was clean-shaven.  Lincoln was Protestant, while JFK was Catholic.  Lincoln led the Union during the Civil War, while JFK was a peacetime President, etc.  Mind-blowing stuff!

12/7/41 "A Day that will live in infamy."
III) Did FDR know about Pearl Harbor December 7, 1941? 

See earlier post, http://americanconservativeinlondon.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/fdr-in-london.html.

This just in!  A top secret recently released Freedom of Information Act cable reads as follows....

"November 20, 1941

My Dearest Eleanor,

It would really help my re-election chances if you would pay a visit to the island of Oahu this December.  I hear that the weather is lovely this time of year--much nicer than DC.  Regretfully, my darling, pressing affairs of state will prevent me from accompanying you...

Love,
Franklin"

"Mr. President, you can't say Dallas doesn't love you."
Nellie Connally
IV) JFK assassination.  November 22, 1963
The assassination of President Kennedy by a deranged communist fellow traveller and US Marine marksman who had spent time in the Soviet Union (Lee Harvey Oswald) has been a sore point for the left for many years.  Ruby's subsequent murder of Oswald deepened the mystery, but was wholly understandable on a human level.  In spite of all the books, movies and TV specials, the original Warren Commission report conclusion was very likely correct that Oswald was the lone killer of JFK.  He certainly had motive, means and opportunity.  Oswald did, however, visit the Cuban consulate in Mexico city prior to the assassination so perhaps we can look forward to a deathbed confession from Fidel before he reaches room temperature--though this would provide cold comfort for liberals...?

Oliver Stone on the Grassy Knoll with an editing machine...?
Both JFK and Lee Harvey Oswald were each reading an Ian Fleming James Bond novel the week before the assassination--just a coincidence?  James Bond...another suspect?

For a more complete look at JFK and his assassination see...http://americanconservativeinlondon.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/jfk-6th-floor-museum.html

God Bless America!
V) 9/11/01
Cooked up by Bush / Cheney in order to circumscribe our civil rights and increase the power of the federal government.  See Loose Change.  (Ok, Just kidding!)


Commander Kelly's first book, America Invades, is now available here...www.americainvades.com
and on Amazon...www.amzn.com/1940598427


An Adventure in 1914 is now shipping...www.anadventurein1914.com
Or on Amazon...www.amzn.com/0692767894


Don't Forget Italy Invades: How Italians Conquered the World...www.italyinvades.com

Also on Amazon...www.amzn.com/1940598729




3 comments:

Marcil O'Neal said...

Delightful sense of humor. Enchanting show of wit. Bon mot at its best. And beautifully written. Thank you for the good laughs.

Christopher Kelly said...

Marcil,

Thanks for your kind words!

Cheers from London,
CK

Marcil O'Neal said...

Kelly, I'm back here to say, first, that I spent a long time reading your posts and it was really worth it. It is so rare to find high quality material like this. Totally agree on the conservatism with humor issue. And you sure can use irony. Secondly, inspired by this very post here (but far from having the same talent) I wrote an unpretentious piece called "History as Taught by Susan Rice". If you have nothing else to do, stop by. It will certainly be an honor.